As my chaplain residency at New Hanover comes to an end, I'd like to share the content of a paper we were asked to write and present at the latest spiritual care department meeting. It is what has become my theology of spiritual care. I hope it will provide insight into what I do and why I do it.
I believe each human being is created in the image of God and love by God in all things. As God's own beloved, we have been intricately and uniquely designed to love God in return. We have also been given a choice regarding if, when, and how we love God. Regardless of what we choose, I believe each and every person is deserving of God's love, to know they are beloved, and to be accompanied in times of crisis or despair. Each of us will experience some time on the margins of life. Whether we are grieving the loss of a loved one, suffering from illness, recovering from injury or addiction, coping with a difference that sets us apart...whatever has turned our world upside down, being on the margin of society is a scary and lonely place to be. Being on the margin and having the rug pulled out from under us has the powerful effect of clouding our lens of faith. We may feel closer to or more distant from the Holy One, we may suffer from unbelief, we may feel emotions toward the Almighty we have not encountered before. In these times, when we find ourselves floundering on the margins of life, the spiritual care giver has the opportunity and the privilege to serve as a remembrance and a conduit of the holy. The margins of life exist on holy ground because of what happens to our souls in that place. Being on the margins, standing on that holy ground, we often find ourselves growing, stretching, and learning more about who we are and whose we are more so than if life simply sailed along, never greeting us with a challenge.
As a chaplain, I am humbled and honored to be so often invited to enter that holy ground with another. I find myself approaching folks on the margin with the memory of the times I have spent in that difficult and disorienting place. I recall the fear and loneliness I have felt and I am moved by God's love to be present with those who find themselves in a world subverted. No one likes to be in this place of subversion alone and I have been given gifts of compassion, gentleness, steadiness and strength that equip me to ensure the ones I encounter will be accompanied through this stage of their journey.
When I consider the how of the care I offer, I am drawn to the story in the gospel of Mark about the friends of the paralytic. In this story, four friends come together to carry their paralytic friend to a house where they hear Jesus is teaching. When they arrive, they cannot get to the door because there are so many people around the house. So they carry their friend up to the roof, and they tear a hole in the roof in order to lower their friend to Jesus in hopes he can be healed. I am also reminded of a song by David M. Bailey called "Inside the Rain." The chorus says, "And the tears of all the angels up in heaven, make a river where you can wash your pain, even in the middle of the thunder, don't let go of the love inside the rain." The words of this song speak to my belief that God suffers right along with us. And if we can remember in the midst of our pain and sorrow, we will know of God's undying love for us through our time of suffering.
As chaplain, I work to tear back the roof. I work to tear back the roof so the one who is suffering can be reminded of how deep and how long and how wide is God's love, no matter who God may be for that person. I work to tear back the roof in order to point to the holiness in the room, to acknowledge the mystery and majesty of life, and to make space for the divine to be received. With a hole in the roof, the rain, the suffering will get inside. I believe we have to let the suffering touch us in order to be healed. As chaplain, I do not seek to stop the suffering, rather to join that suffering with the love of our Creator to promote a true sense of healing and recovery. I embrace and validate the rain, the suffering and the emotions that come along with the pain. I approach with deep respect for where the person have been and earnest hope for where the person is going. I am sustained by a profound trust in my God and a confident knowledge that God is bigger than anyone or any situation in this world. Spiritual care is intense, challenging, important work I hope to be a part of for many years to come. To God be the glory.
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