Seize the Day
A senior graduation requirement is to be on a team that plans and leads chapel for one week. My chapel team led worship here at the seminary March 10-14th. The four of us met several times as plans unfolded, we each took a day as point person and plunged ahead. I had Friday...typically the best attended day of the week as we celebrate communion every Friday. And so I prepared to preach in the presence of God, my peers, my best of friends, and my professors. Eeek! Being the last week of lent, we decided our week would move from despair to hope, darkness to light, as we looked toward Easter. The text for Friday was Ezekiel 37:1-14 which is the story of the prophet Ezekiel and the dry bones. In the passage, God commands Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and slowly these bones come back to life as the chosen people of God. As I thought and prayed on the text and what God wanted me to say, I thought about my own bones; the dryness of my bones one year ago as I became rather sick and waited for the eventual diagnosis of a second chronic, incurable illness. So I decided, with my chapel team's affirmation, to end my sermon in dance. I hadn't danced in chapel since my 1st year of seminary, so we thought it would be a powerful statement of hope.
At our second to last team meeting before our week, I played the song I had chosen to dance to. An untraditional choice for a liturgical dance, but I wanted it that way. I wanted to dance to something upbeat and faster, something that expressed the hope and joy I find in dancing again. I chose "Live Forever" by David Bailey. After my team listened to the song and said how much they liked it, one said, what are the chances of that music being played live? Some names were thrown around and then I chimed in...I knew that David Bailey was going to be at a church in a North Atlanta suburb the Sunday following our week. So I sent a long shot email to David Bailey, to see if he could fit us into his trip. There were several obstacles, but David and I eventually spoke over the phone, and before I knew it...he was coming. David agreed to come, help us out in chapel and put on a concert that evening.
Friday rolled around and it was amazing. Beyond amazing. I got lots of hugs and wonderful feedback from lots and lots of people. But all I could think about was the hand of God, how the Spirit had moved in me and in that place, how much more than amazing is God's grace. If you've never heard of him, I beg you to check out David's story and his music: www.davidmbailey.com
Tornado Warnings
The same night as the David Bailey concert, an F2 tornado ripped through downtown Atlanta. I have to admit that at the time, I was oblivious. I went out with some friends after the concert in Decatur. We noticed it raining sideways and very hard at, what I later learned, was the time the tornado was hitting just about 5 miles away. We came back to campus to learn the news...hearing about a hole ripped in the roof of the Georgia Dome and heavy damage to the CNN Center. Office chairs, glass, and other debris littered the streets for days. The next day, more tornadoes came through and I spent some quality time in my closet. Not too many days later, we had snow flurries. Who doesn't love the weather in March?!
Firsthand Look
I convinced a friend to accompany me to a Good Friday Breakfast sponsored by the YMCA. We were interested in going because Fred Craddock, a world renowned preacher, was the keynote speaker. When the day came, the event had been relocated due to the tornado damage. It was supposed to be in the Georgia World Congress Center which had a large hole in the roof and a water main break transforming it into an artificial sea. So we went instead to the Hyatt Regency Hotel. We decided to take MARTA after I gave up on trying to figure out the best way to go, lots of roads still closed because of falling glass and tornado cleanup. It was on MARTA that I got a firsthand look at the damage. Skyscrapers with blown out windows, blue tarps and boarded up windows, trees down, the collapsed Cotton Mill lofts, a neighborhood destroyed. Very, very eerie.
"Reading" Week
Last week was what CTS calls Reading Week. The catch is, it's really exam/midterm/paper week. And this year, it was also Holy Week. For seminary students, midterms, papers, tons of reading (for just one class, a 500 page book on my schedule) and Holy Week do not mix well. It brought undue stress, exhaustion, and overwhelmedness to many. And I was amazed later how many professors said, "I didn't even realize they coincided." Sigh.
About that Book
For one of my classes, I did have to read during reading week, a 500 page novel. That's a lot. Especially when it is NOT the only thing on your plate. However. It was a great book. It's called The Chosen Place, the Timeless People by Paule Marshall. And I commend it to you. All through the book, I thought of Haiti. Ethicist Sharon Welch offers a West African proverb that well describes the content of the book: "Once a great wrong has been done, it never dies. People speak the words of peace, but their hearts do not forgive. Generations perform ceremonies of reconciliation but there is no end.” I commend you to read this book, to consider the great wrongs of our nation, our people, and pray that we can all move toward true acts of reconciliation.
My Call and My Future
Oy. I almost don't even want to address this. I know that you're wondering if I know what I'm doing after graduation yet. Nope. Well, I know that I'll be celebrating with my family, packing up to move out, and a few weeks later once again celebrating with family, this time, at my cousin's wedding. Beyond that? No clue. I have a good number of self-referrals out to churches around the northeast. I've had one church come to me via email, offering themselves as a possibility. But no real conversations going on. No interviews lined up. No call in sight. Yet.
We Presbyterians do this call thing well I think, but we also do it in a way that is long, unpredictable, and stressful. I will not lie, it is hard to hear from peers about phone interviews, church visits, receiving calls, etc. without wondering...why her and not me? What is he doing that I am not? Feelings of failure sneak their way in and tears have been shed.
But this is what I know and truly believe: God has a place for me. God will reveal said place on God's time. Not mine. Not yours. Not in accordance with graduation schedules. So I know it will come. That place in a church where God wants me to be will come. Waiting stinks, but waiting is a huge part of faith. Right now I'm a student. I happen to love my classes this semester, and though I have the same senioritis as others, I'm not as willing to abandon my class work/reading because it is stuff I want to study. Right now I am a student who has class, work study, a part-time job on campus, two chronic illnesses and lots of loved ones. I am choosing to focus on being a student, taking care of myself, and spending lots, and lots of time with people who very soon will not live close by. Hope is not lost. My PIF is circulating and I've mailed it to places I am interested in. But for now, that's it, the ball is in their court. Could I be doing more? Probably. Should I? Probably. But I trust and I breathe deeply. I trust it will come. I trust my family will not leave me on the street in the meantime. And I trust God will lead me day by day as God always has. I keep breathing deep and uttering prayers of trust. And you can trust me, when I do get a call...I'll be shouting it from the rooftops. You'll know.
Much Needed Comic Relief
Last night, no more crocodile tears, but rather, side-splitting, long lasting laughter. I went with a group of fantastic friends to see Avenue Q! So hilarious!!! I laughed in my sleep, and through the day today it was so funny! It's a very irreverent, offensive, crass broadway show often described as sesame street for adults. But it is soooooooooooooooooooooo funny! And I happen to think that though done in highly inappropriate ways, the show does touch on very real issues of race, relationships, young adulthood, and more. I so needed that night out with great friends, at the Fabulous Fox Theater where in the balcony it's like you're sitting outside, and now I have laughter to last me for days to come. Yay for Avenue Q!!!
One Week to Haiti
Lastly, I have one week to go before I leave for Haiti! Yay!!! I am very excited about the trip and more convinced than ever that not saving my spring break in case of church interviews was a brilliant move. I need to get away. I need to be de-centered. I need to be reminded student life is easy and I'm not the center of the world. I need to encounter God in a familiar and holy place. I can't wait to be in Haiti.
Through it all I am breathing deep, keeping tissues close on account of allergies (damn the pollen! damn all the pollen!) and occasional tears of stress, and taking every, single, solitary opportunity I get, to laugh.
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